Bad Decisions

OK folks...so, now I can tell you I have learned my lesson - never mix a place you spend lots of time in with someone who spends just as much time as you there. Like a neighbor, or a gym or any other place where people know you well enough to know your name.

I did it...and now I am totally paying the price. Of course, if it had all worked out in my favor - then I probably wouldn't be venting it here...I'd be celebrating the glances, winks and notes that make one feel oh-so-special.

I met a guy that I really connected with, and I know that he connected with me. We understood each other's wacky sense of humours, could speak about the more serious things, can just be quiet and not feel the need to speak, etc. - sounds good, right?! Add in the physical - and well, I was very surprised to think that there might be something here to work with.

Then, add into the equation that the boy is getting over someone else...and not dealing with it so well. All of this equals ONE BIG MESS I have made for myself.

I know better to stay out of the way...and am taking his distancing cues like a good line delievered in a play. My heart sadly feels a loss - as I see I will easily be replaced once I am less visible.

I guess I will just try and focus on the good:
[1] that I saw there are people in this crazy city that I can enjoy getting to know
[2] more importantly, that there is a person out there I am supposed to share my life with, who is searching for me in the pool, playing that big game of marco polo waiting to catch me.