Ode to the Single Life

A very interesting question was raised by a friend today - and since it has also been on my mind as of late, I figured I would share with you my thoughts.

Question: If you are single for long enough, would you have a clue how to incorporate someone into your life?

The "advisory" side of me would like to contribute: "I think it is probably like riding a bicycle". Now - speaking from REALITY - the last time I got on a bike, it was a very sad sight. My balance was off...my grip was too tight...my seat was at the wrong height. Sounds like a pretty picture, eh!? This was definitely an exercise requiring quite a bit of practice!! I guess it is just easier for some than others.

Are relationships harder for those who feel more independent and happy on their own? I have never been someone who went from relationship to relationship. I meet many people. I date. But over the years, the true, long-term commitments have been far and few. (Don't ask me for a timeline!) Other friends of mine breakup with someone, mourn, heal, and boom - someone else is in their life. How the heck?!?

For moi, single life is very comfortable. I enjoy quiet time at the end of a hard day. (And y'all know how hard these days have been!) I like knowing if I choose to workout at the gym a bit longer than normal, that I am not letting anyone down. That I can watch whatever I want. Chat with friends. Do what I want, when I want, how I want. Sounds very Veruca Salt-like...ewwww. BUT - when all is said and done - I still crave a relationship. I want that special someone in my life that I can't wait to see in the morning and wake up to talk to or cuddle with before I fall asleep. The person that makes me smile just by being there.

Over the past few weeks of my recent dating life, I have enjoyed getting to know someone new and spend time with them, but I found very conflicted as I really missed having my space. I was thrilled to experience the feel of being courted and of someone wanting to spend time with me - but there definitely was another side of me saying - "Hold a phone - what happened to the things you used to do!!"

I watch my friends in other relationships - from the moment they met it worked. Spending time together was easy - like a good shepherd's pie. Hmmmm mmmm good. Others in the "getting to know you" process are like oil and water - getting them to mix is hard, one must occassionally stir. There is definitely a happy medium. Sounds like a good drink!!

SO - when my "advisory side" and my "reality" meet to share with you some thoughts - I guess what I would say is that "Incorporation" has to be at a pace that works for you. There is no firm way to go about it. You might need to "get to know" that person for a while before you want them in your space - as it is sacred place. You might find that all you want is to share your nook.

Either way - practice is ongoing and essential. Recipes are not final - until you get the taste you want! At least we will become connoisseurs along the way!